Sweet By and By

A song that’s been traveling with me for over a decade

I wrote the song Sweet By and By in 2014. At the time I was in training to be a psychologist at a religious university and wrestling with my own anxieties about letting go of religion while holding on to myself. I was working at an outpatient practice and in between difficult sessions I sat in my car and wrote this song.

Years later, when Cameron got sick I added a bridge to the song (not included in the recording). It read:

Before I fall asleep keep your body close to me

I’m waiting on the edge to see if you’ll wake up next to me

Cameron was sick for six months and died shortly after his 40th birthday. When he died the words in the song hit different. Suddenly it wasn’t just about wrestling with faith and identity. It was about loss, grief, and surviving in a reality I didn’t ask for and didn’t want.

There’s something beautiful about watching a song age with you. It was a reminder that time moves in cycles, and the things we create stay close to us and keep speaking to us long after we think they’re done.

I have more to say about the cyclical nature of time and music moving through the Samson family line, but for now here’s the video of me singing Sweet By and By from 2014.

Don’t wake me up, I’ve closed my eyes

Let me surrender to the night

I’ll float away, don’t hold my tail

Let my soul set sail

My body’s in the way of what my lips have to say

We’re still alive tell me why, sweet by and by

You’ve got everything that you say I need

And it’s all within reach, lucky you, lucky me

My body’s in the way of what my lips have to say

We’re still alive tell me why, sweet by and by

Oh, we’re still alive tell me why, sweet by and by